


Letter of Both Farewell and Greeting

by eggyolkjellyfish



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 12:55:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15582468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggyolkjellyfish/pseuds/eggyolkjellyfish
Summary: Homura writes a letter to Madoka in an alternate timeline





	Letter of Both Farewell and Greeting

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I'm writing, but I suddenly remembered that Homura went through almost 100 timelines for Madoka and got emotional ;---;

To Madoka.  
You do not know I exist yet. But there is something very, very important that I need to tell you. None of this will make sense until many weeks or even months later, but it is imperative that you hear me out. 

Perhaps I am no longer searching for a person, but a symbol. A symbol of love, compassion, and kindness that I had never felt before you gave me them. Mami is kind, as you know- but she is never as pure as you in intention. Although you were always quick to show your true feelings , Mami held all of her hurt and fear inside, and they manifested throughout all of her other actions, essentially poisoning them. I have seen too much of the consequences those feelings caused to us all in the end. The look of total despair and pain when she aimed her gun straight at my soul gem... I won't forget that expression very easily, if ever. 

But even though you still have all of those qualities in abundance and pour them out to me each timeline, somehow I never feel like I deserve them, or that it's the real me that's receiving them. Like I've become a symbol that you give your admiration or pity (in most timelines, both) to rather than a real person- a symbol of strength, determination, and unbreakable poise for you; I feel as though I've already had my chance to know you as a real person- the first time around, when you saved me from that witch. But ever since then, you've been slipping further and further away from my grasp as I too forget the memories we've shared, and only remember the feelings they gave me, and even then, only the positive feelings related to you. But regardless, even if I'm searching for a you that doesn't feel real anymore, I still want to save you. And to save you, I have to end this cycle once and for all. 

From this point, I know you will do one of two things. 

If you choose to become a magical girl and stay in Mitakihara City, you will die on Walpugisnacht while fighting Walpurgis herself. Through fighting her, you'll blacken your soul gem and after Walpurgis is defeated, you will become a witch yourself- far more terrible and destructive than Walpurgis ever was. Of course this time, the moment Walpurgis is defeated and you lay half submerged in the wreckage of your battle, I will shatter your soul gem, and then I will shatter mine. Of course I don't want to do this. But I've done everything I can- you couldn't possibly remember it, but I really did try so very hard to save you that I have exhausted all of my will to go on. I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired. You'd think I have something more poetic to say after all of this, but I've abandoned any sentiment I have a long time ago. I am nearly empty, and plan on emptying whatever few feelings I have left before I leave this world. 

If you choose not to become a magical girl... well, even if you don't, I know now that neither Mami, Kyouko, or I can stop Walpurgis anymore. Only you can; It's a punishment for all the timelines I've created just to save you. How ironic that is, but also how fitting it is for karma to punish me this way; 

But this time, you could leave Mitakihara City when Walpurgis attacks. You could come with me, and we'll run away. We can't ever come back- there wouldn't be a home or a family to come back to anyways. I guess you could try to convince your parents to come with, but you know that's impossible, don't you? 

I know how to stop time. We would never have to worry about anyone following us on our tails- we can easily outrun them with my powers. You would never have to worry about getting sick or hurt- I can heal things with my soul gem. That's why I don't wear glasses anymore, although you probably didn't know that I wore them in the first place. I know how to get food and shelter for us- it's all just a matter of again, stopping time and causing diversions. Years of practice have made me very, very adept. We'll spend our days going from city to city, hunting witches and gathering grief seeds to fuel us. Maybe we'll even end up leaving this country, and travelling to foreign places and seeing and hearing and learning new things for the rest of our lives... 

You don't have to worry about a thing. I won't do anything you don't want if you come with me. I promise you I would never leave you behind, or stop caring for you. I know I said I am empty, but being by your side will fill me up and I could become whole again for you. If there's anything I can do that saves you, I can do anything, even come back from the precipice of death. I swear to you I'll never let you go in a time of need, so if you really can't bear to leave this world, won't you stay behind with me? 

Walpurgis comes at 12PM on April 30th. At 12AM exactly of the same day, I'll be waiting for you in front of the first bus stop en route to Kazamino City. We'll spend the night there, and get a move on right away early next morning. I don't need any spoken or written answer from you. Just show up or don't at midnight on April 30th. 

This letter may just be a foolish attempt for me to purge myself of whatever feelings or regrets I may have left over after all these years. This may just be something that pushes you even further away from me. But still, I'm looking for a means to finally let time go on again for the first time in twelve years, and a last attempt at saving you in the process. I love you regardless of which decision you come to, and I'll be waiting for you- as I always have, all this time. 

\- Homura.


End file.
